Life Back Then

Visalam Balasubramanian was born in Pollachi, on May 17, 1925. She was the second of three children. Having lost her mother at about age 2, she grew up with her siblings, cared for by her father who lived out his life as a widower in Erode. She was married in 1939. Her adult life revolved entirely around her husband and four children. She was a gifted vocalist in the Carnatic tradition, and very well read. Visalam passed away on February 20, 2005.

Editor's note: This is Part 12 of her memoirs, which have been edited for this website. Kamakshi Balasubramanian, her daughter, has added some parenthetical explanatory notes in italics.

Jatinder Sethi, shown with his granddaughter Abha, was born in Lyallpur, now Faisalabad, in pre-Independence India. He finished his M.A. (English) from Delhi University in 1956, and went off to London to study Advertising in 1958. He passed his Membership Exam of The Institute of Practitioners in Advertising (M.I.P.A) in1965, and joined Rallis India in Bombay. Later, for over 20 years, he worked for the advertising agency Ogilvy &amp\; Mather. Now retired, he helps his son in his ad agency in Delhi.

Photo 1
L to R: Groom 1, Brides' Mother, Brides' Brother, Brides' Nani (grandmother), Bride 1, Bride 2, Groom 2.
At the back: "Tell you later". (Old) Delhi Railway Station. 1958

WELCOME ABOARD!

28^th February 1958  Friday, 8.25am, Platform Number 2 (Old) Delhi Railway Station

I, Jatinder Sethi, will be your host and conduct you through the lives of these people who are gathered here at the Old Delhi Railway Station to see-off and say good-bye to  two newly married sisters (Bride 1 and Bride 2). They are leaving their parents' hometown, Delhi, to settle down in Bombay with their husbands. They are being seen off by members of their families.

Bal Anand was born in 1943, in a village about 20 km south of Ludhiana, in a family of saint-scholars who practised Ayurveda. Graduated from DAV College, Jalandhar, and did Master in English Literature from Govt. College, Ludhiana. After a stint for a few years as lecturer, joined the Indian Foreign Service. Served in nine different countries and retired as India's High commissioner to New Zealand. Now reading, reflecting and writing in nest in Greater Noida.

On the 15th of August, the day of the anniversary of Independence and the most painful amputation of people in the history of humanity India in 1947 when, in the stirring words of Jawaharlal Nehru, the nation awoke to ‘a tryst with destiny', the heart beats of Indians, Pakistanis - and Bangladeshis too - do feel, in today's lingo, "कुछ, कुछ होता है kuchh, kuchh hota hai ... sensation of something, something."

In my consciousness, the first stirrings of the day were felt in 1951. I was a student of 4th grade in the Mahatma Gandhi Memorial National High School in a grain market town, 20 km from Ludhiana. There was a big Prabhat Pheri - morning procession - by younger activists of local political spectrum of Congressmen in Khadi, the Socialists in several sartorial hues, and the Jan Sanghis in Khaki shorts. They were holding medium size Tirangas - Tricolour Indian flags - shouting "Bharat Mata ki Jai - victory to Mother India" and sometimes "Pakistan, Murdabaad - Death to Pakistan!"

Dr. Anand - an unholy person born in 1932 in the holy town of Nankana Sahib, central Punjab. A lawyer father, a doctor mother. Peripatetic childhood - almost gypsy style. Many schools. Many friends, ranging from a cobbler's son (poorly shod as the proverb goes) to a judge's son. MB from Glancy (now Government) Medical College Amritsar, 1958. Comet 4 to Heathrow, 1960.

Ancient widower. Two children and their families keep an eye on him. He lives alone in a small house with a small garden. Very fat pigeons, occasional sparrows, finches green and gold drop in to the garden, pick a seed or two and fly away.

In 1956, or was it 1955, I Spent about two months in Bombay. Rented a large room with bathroom and toilet but no kitchen, jointly with a young man (sight unseen) who worked in some office. A decent man, he went out early, came back late.

The room was on the first floor. My bed was next to the window. Out of the window you saw the Arabian Sea on which you saw little freighters with seamen wearing rings hopping in to boats. They would wave but I never waved back.

It was the monsoon season. You had a shower and "dried" yourself with a wet towel. The towel never dried. Every other day the towel would become mouldy and had to be thrown away.

Food? First thing in the morning I would get dressed and walk down. Catch a bus. Would alight by a Poori Bhaji stall. Then walk a bit and buy small red bananas.

Dr. Anand - an unholy person born in 1932 in the holy town of Nankana Sahib, central Punjab. A lawyer father, a doctor mother. Peripatetic childhood - almost gypsy style. Many schools. Many friends, ranging from a cobbler's son (poorly shod as the proverb goes) to a judge's son. MB from Glancy (now Government) Medical College Amritsar, 1958. Comet 4 to Heathrow, 1960.
Widower. Two children and their families keep an eye on him. He lives alone in a small house with a small garden. Very fat pigeons, occasional sparrows, finches green and gold drop in to the garden, pick a seed or two and fly away.

In my childhood and early adulthood, we ate only jhatka meat (from an animal that has been killed instantly). Did not touch halal, let alone beef.

In 1955, there was a cricket Test match between India and Pakistan. Venue Lahore. (Editor’s note: the match ended in a draw.) For some reason, the two countries agreed to let people claiming to be cricket fans to go to Lahore with the minimum of formalities. A chit signed by the Dipty Kannaster (Deputy Commissioner), and bearing his stamp permitted you to hop in to the train from Amritsar. Of course, one paid for the ticket.

Subodh Mathur was born in Alwar, and educated in Jaipur, Delhi, and Cambridge, USA. He taught Economics for one year (1972-73) at Rajasthan University, Jaipur, and later (1981-88) at American University, Washington, D.C. He has been an independent consultant since 1988, occasionally teaching Economics at the American University, D.C. He lives with his wife, Anuradha Deolalikar in a suburb of Washington, D.C. In his spare time, he is an avid gardener, and the editor of this website.

Dayawanti, my mother, 1937 wedding proposal photo

Chamber of Princes
New Delhi
4^th March 1937

Dear Mr. Khem Chand,

Dr. Hari Kishor Mathur who is practicing in New Delhi gave me to understand that you were a bachelor &amp\; could be approached for a matrimonial alliance. My daughter's daughter is over 18 years of age &amp\; has passed the Matriculation Examination of the Agra University in the II Division.  In other aspects also she is an accomplished girl.

Subodh Mathur was born in Alwar, and educated in Jaipur, Delhi, and Cambridge, USA. He taught Economics for one year (1972-73) at Rajasthan University, Jaipur, and later (1981-88) at American University, Washington, D.C. He has been an independent consultant since 1988, occasionally teaching Economics at the American University, D.C. He lives with his wife, Anuradha Deolalikar in a suburb of Washington, D.C. In his spare time, he is an avid gardener, and the editor of this website.

My father's name was Khem Chand. He did not use Mathur, a sub-caste identifier, as his last name. He was born in 1911 in Alwar, which was a Princely State at that time. He attended St. Stephen's College in Delhi, which was, and still is, one of India's leading colleges.

His father (my grandfather) Shri Ram Chand was also a student at St. Stephen's College, where he got a Faculty of Arts degree. This was one level lower than a B.A. degree, but a high level of education in the early 1900s in India. He served Alwar State as the head of Baagaat (Garden Department). He also had his training at the Forest Training Institute in Dehradun. We have a book on Forest Engineering on which he has signed his name with the date as 26.11.1905.

In the last row, at the extreme right is Prof. Spear, an accomplished historian of modern Indian social history who had a great influence on my father.

Dr. Anand - an unholy person born in 1932 in the holy town of Nankana Sahib, central Punjab. A lawyer father, a doctor mother. Peripatetic childhood - almost gypsy style. Many schools. Many friends, ranging from a cobbler's son (poorly shod as the proverb goes) to a judge's son. MB from Glancy (now Government) Medical College Amritsar, 1958. Comet 4 to Heathrow, 1960.
Widower. Two children and their families keep an eye on him. He lives alone in a small house with a small garden. Very fat pigeons, occasional sparrows, finches green and gold drop in to the garden, pick a seed or two and fly away.

In the time before the Punjab was partitioned, I lived in various towns and cities, and holidayed in a few.

When I was a toddler and up to my school-age, eating at home was mostly vegetarian plus two or three times a week, goat meat. On special occasions, we would eat chicken (kukkar in Punjabi, murga in Urdu/Hindustani)

Sometimes, I would be taken by a lady to her house in the afternoons, where I would play with her son who was a couple of years older. The family was Muslim. You might think, meat-eaters. It is not generally known that in those  pre-WW2 days manual workers seldom had enough money to buy meat, except on special occasions. Daal Roti lunch and evening. Hence it was that Daal was known as the poor man's meat.

Jatinder Sethi, shown with his granddaughter Abha, was born in Lyallpur, now Faisalabad, in pre-Independence India. He finished his M.A. (English) from Delhi University in 1956, and went off to London to study Advertising in 1958. He passed his Membership Exam of The Institute of Practitioners in Advertising (M.I.P.A) in1965, and joined Rallis India in Bombay. Later, for over 20 years, he worked for the advertising agency Ogilvy &amp\; Mather. Now retired, he helps his son in his ad agency in Delhi.

The old (1956) Dev Anand movie C I D - had this very popular song

Zarra Hut Kay, Zarra Bucch Kay
Yeh Hai Bombay Meri Jaan

Sung by Mohammed Rafi and Geeta Dutt, filmed on the great Johnny Walker.

In 1956/57, after finishing my Masters in English from Delhi University, and having found my love of life, like hundreds of other non-professional job-seekers, I went to Bombay hoping to strike gold and find a job. A job could then be the jumping ground for my marriage proposal. I stayed with my elder sister, who lived at R P Masani Road, Matunga.

Visalam Balasubramanian was born in Pollachi, on May 17, 1925. She was the second of three children. Having lost her mother at about age 2, she grew up with her siblings, cared for by her father who lived out his life as a widower in Erode. She was married in 1939. Her adult life revolved entirely around her husband and four children. She was a gifted vocalist in the Carnatic tradition, and very well read. Visalam passed away on February 20, 2005.

Editor's note: This is Part 13 - the last part - of her memoirs, which have been edited for this website. Kamakshi Balasubramanian, her daughter, has added some parenthetical explanatory notes in italics.